Archive for November, 2011

(A brilliant post on a recent event on social media “featuring” Christine Fair, cross posted from Le Pakistan Potpourri by Hafsa Khawaja)

Don’t you just hate all the new ‘analysts’ and ‘experts’ on Pakistani Affairs that have popped up [ Or as I say, pooped up ] in recent years? Yeah, I do too.

So only a day back, this ‘Assistant Professor of South Asian pol-mil affairs at Georgetown’ Christine Fair began to comment through her tweets on the NATO Raid that martyred 28 soldiers of ours and began engaging in arguments with the Pakistani Twitterati.

Main Christine tay ay mera nika pra!

Basically, she had just read the PTA Banned List and went all hochi to have heard about those galiyaan and very eager to use them – some Amreekan goray; just so shoday.

Then she tweeted about the attack, in the exact tone of a #495 [ Refer to Urdu List ]:

Clearly, only she has the right to howl as an ode to her identity, which she proudly displays in her picture. But..

IRONY: Americans howl about their dead soldiers in Afghanistan when they’ve killed thousands of Iraqis and Afghans!

Sure, America is very understanding and wouldn’t howl if Pakistan killed their 28 soldiers.
But hey, Pakistani blood is just cheaper y’know. They can all just die, the remaining just shouldn’t howl while I bark like a female kutta on Twitter.

Plus, only an ‘expert’ #74 [ Urdu List ] would mix the ordinary soldiers of Pakistan with the Establishment or Establishment-supported extremist groups.

Anyway, so this guy just tweet-replied her after another dung-ish tweet of hers, which said Pakistan-created Afghan Taliban have killed thousands in Afghanistan so they have no right to mourn their dead soldiers who SHE DOUBTS were innocent, that Pakistanis too have been killed in thousands by terrorists and the Taliban.

So she tweeted in response:

GASP! Those decieving, lying, clever rascals! The Pakistanis, you know each one of them – the fathers, the labourers, the mothers, the little children whose limbs were strewn on the streets after bomb attacks – ALL of them had a part in creating the Taliban! So hey, they are themselves responsible for their death! AND then the ones who remain alive behind, they show their deaths as if they were innocents! BOMB ‘EM ALL.

Ofcourse, BC Uncle Sam had no role in this. He just impregnated Pakistan along with KSA with this illegitimate bastard child called Terrorism and when the baby got all grown up, he just abandoned them and blamed the nuisance on the mother for nurturing him.

[ I do not deny that ZAB supported Hekmatyar back in the 70s and Zia was the Godfather of this child ( or mother, however you take it ) and that the rulers and Establishment had a major rule in taking forward the shameful legacy of terrorism but America’s role in it, no matter how peripheral, can also not be dismissed ]

It was Pakistan that helped to create the Cold War situation and it was Pakistan that kickstarted the Soviet War in Afghanistan and it was Pakistan that thought of Operation Cyclone.
All Uncle Sam did was sit near the Afghan Border and watch while doing muutarwasirjan.

You know I’m not a big fan of our Establishment and I speak, write vehemently against their actions and pangay-baazian but here, I’d just really like ISI to do something about Christine Fair. I swear. She loves them so much that she ascribes everything that happens to them! Probably, even if its the death of her dog. AKNOWLEDGE YOUR FAN ISI!


I don’t know if she’s been sleeping with Lal Topi Wala Muskhara or something but pinning the unjust generalization of the act of blaming everything negative that happens in Pakistan on RAW/MOSSAD/ CIA as something that all Pakistanis do – is plain wrong.

Also, let us not forget that Pakistan has been behind every gnikcuf thing on Earth. Pakistan is responsible for Global Warming, the ISI clearly did this by sending its agents all over the world to pollute the air by farting too much or something.

Pakistan has been behind all the economic crises, failed NASA Expeditions, international conflicts and not to mention, Gavrilo Princip was an ISI-sponsored assasin thus Pakistan and ISI set off the events that resulted into World War I – even though Pakistan was not even on the map at that time but WTF, he looked PAKISTANI. That proves it.

So coming back, many from the Pakistani Twitterati kept questioning her on her biased tweets in a manifest politer manner and even challenged her views with facts but hey, when the going gets tough, such goray go LTC.

Yup, Christine Fair decided of using her newly-acquired knowledge from the PTA Banned List on two Pakistanis who had merely done what is aforementioned, with this;

Yes, LTC if you challenge my #399-ish [Urdu List] tweets.

And whats with the D at the end? You’re not spelling London so the D is entirely unrequired. It just ends on the N. Aidi ayi tauu zanana Amir Liaquat!

For those who don’t know, LTC means:

But Christine forgot to tweet this :

IRONY: I am a woman, yet I have an L which I want people to climb on. #TweetLikeChristineFair

For a random moment and at the expense of sounding like Shirin Mazari WITHOUT any sense of xenophobia or hate,  let me just say that I absolutely, utterly, completely and unimaginably get annoyed by Non-Desi speaking tooti-phooti Urdu in their own accents. I have no idea why Desi people are so fascinated by that.

And Christine Fair, you don’t need to go all hyper like a bandaria after reading a Desi Abuse list. Its nothing extraordinary nOOb. You are not and can not be a Desi, stop trying because you sound and seem sh*t.

And you should be thankful that the Pakistani Twitterati were sophisticated and tolerant enough to not deluge you with a thousand splendid cuss words in reation to your tweets that had only one tone; vitriolic.

Also, whence debating with someone over their country try to remember that by telling them that they’re uninformed about their land and countering their valid points during a discussion with a vulgar phrase from THEIR language – kindly keep in mind, you make your existence define #451 [ Urdu List ].

We may not be ‘academics’ but we aren’t as low as ones and know our country well enough to the extent that if someone wishes to argue with us about it, we won’t go tell them LTC because our side is weak.

There, my rant ends.

Until then, LTC.

Uh, I meant TTYL.


P.S : All the seemingly-averse things I’ve written about gorayz in this post are supposed to be humour. Unlike an ‘academic’, I nourish no antagonism for any race or people. Only condescending fools like Christopher Hitchens, Tarek Fatah and BChristine Fair bother me. Its people like them that make others go sadistic and they get happy that their country has nukes and these UlooChs’ fear them! [ Okay, maybe its just me ]

Waise jistran meri rondi boothi hamesha raendi ae, lagda ae ouday uper e LTC likhaya hoya ae!

P.S #2: Keep your BS view to yourself if you think that mourning the deaths of the soldiers translates into being an Establishment-apologist. I along with many, have mourned the murdered-at-the-hands-of-the-Establishment/Backed-Extremists Hazara, Baloch, Tooris and we mourn the soldiers today.

You are either human or you sympathise and grieve on the basis of caste/creed/race/religion/sect/profession.

Although yes, one would like the same reaction when they [Hazara, Baloch, Tooris etc] are slaughtered.

(The writer tweets @Hafsa_Khawaja and maintain blogs on Le Pakistan Potpourri )

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More provinces do not mean division of country as people are arguing. Centralization or resource accumulation which unfortunately started from Ghulam Muhammad, Ayub Khan to date is still continuing. We often bring Islamic causes too for support of centralization. Look in Caliphate too specially the case of many Arab conquests when Arabs were trying (either to get by force or by buying land), it was normally prohibited and was established that “land belong to the person who grows on it”.  So we can’t follow this central focused approach. Every country is moving towards more autonomy, India had 6 or 7 provinces now it has around 30. The point is if one’s cause is with sincere principles there is no wrong with division of Punjab, Sindh, Balochistan and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, we already have these nationalist belonging from many regions or race even before the division of provinces was brought in table like Punjabi, Balochi, Pathan, Sindhi, Siraiki, Brohi, Makrani, Muhajir, Kashmiri etc. what if we have more. I guess no issue with that. Promotion of different diversities of any country like we currently are showing is something healthy & makes one proud. After creation of provinces people (specially neglected and oppressed) have chance of feeling more secure about their cultural identity or if they didn’t had identity & were given by creating provinces on administrative basis it will give the importance to them.

The only result from neglecting rich cultural diversity as it happened after one unit, than one province domination and lack of provincial autonomy, only created more differences as it happened & still happening in Balochistan & Sindh. This separate cultural diversification is sign of healthy society just imagine like Siraikis are not normally encompassed completely in any Punjab cultural event, same is for Hazarawaal. So if Government or authorities with sincerity do it for two main purposes either to uplift the neglected population, administratively or if some particular section of society is totally ignored in past & need separate identity for cultural diversification at national level it will be blessing for nation not a curse. Just to quote India that Cultural diversification which they obtained by dividing & forming provinces both on admin & identity basis in year’s weather with cost of blood or on peaceful basis resulted in more unification of Indian Nation. Seeing it in this perspective, we don’t need to worry about it. One thing which is important and must be addressed is the government must also take into confidence those people whose province is to be divided; their issues and feelings must be resolved. We are not suppose to open another door for some future controversy over their mindset which is against formation of another province.

Keeping in view that one of the cause of 1971 dilemma was same thing i.e. suppression of Bengali identity (due to one unit), accumulation of wealth in one part of country, less job representations (which unfortunately is still we have in the form of quota systems which after Provincial autonomy should be on equal basis). However moving forward this provincial formation should not be only focused in Punjab rather it should be also followed and discussed on floors of other provincial assemblies too, but with time & learning from the experience gained from the first such new provincial setup. How? weather through referendum or through discussions in parliament between selected members it’s up to government to decide. There may be no harm if we consider both at identity & administrative factors at same time or separately the main factor is sincerity to uplift any section of society with true faith.

(Wrote this actually few months in August 2011)

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